Beep. Boop. Cue Pathos.

robrohr — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 17:42:11 GMT

Finally!

Tom the Dancing Bug (Edited by Ruben Bolling) has realized the true drama that is encapsulated in every PONG battle.

And they said a trinary counting system was useless...

robrohr — Wed, 14 Aug 2002 18:08:00 GMT

Oh, yeah. We're back from vacation. Where did we go? Nowhere. It was glorious.

What did we do? Mostly nothing, but before you accuse me of total slack, I did formulate a structured measurement system for, hold onto your hats, nose taps.

Are you ever in a position where you get tapped on the nose so frequently, that you lose track of the number of taps? Me too, so I devised a totally arbitrary system for measuring and counting the number of taps on the nose.

So many systems are base 10 (decimal), base 12 (british), base power of two (computer binary, octal, hexadecimal) that I decided to buck the trends and use a trinary system of measurement, for the purposes of being able to use the nifty higher order prefixes pretty quickly. I told you this was an arbitrary system.

First we need a fundamental unit of nose tapping. Since, in my experience, most nose taps are accompanied by the vocal polyphoneme, "doink," I decided that the fundamental unit of nose tappage would be referred to as the Doink.

In a trinary scheme, the first order aggregate would be a group of three fundamental units. I decided to name this first order aggregate the "poink" as that is the next most frequent vocal accompaniment to my nasal abuse. Therefore, 3 doinks = 1 poink.

The second order aggregate, or multiple of three, was named the "toink." 9 doinks = 3 poinks = 1 toink.

The final (3rd) order aggregate was named, in a fit of silliness, the "squoink." 27 doinks = 9 poinks = 3 toinks = 1 squoink.

Should you experience multiple squoinks of abuse in one sitting, the bruising would be likely to interfere with accurate accounting purposes anyway, so higher order aggregates are left to future scholars. In the interests of providing prefixes for fractional nose taps, I went with the traditional "trilli-" meaning "one third" and "squilli" meaning "one ninth." Therefore a squillisquoink = one trillitoink = one poink = 3 doinks. I hope everything is clear.

You can type real fast with your bottom. Nearly 60 uncommonly large words per minute.

robrohr — Mon, 30 Jul 2001 19:38:00 GMT

gn ngfvbv nbbbbbbjjjjjjm9jh, hbb 6b5nhjnjm

- Justin Goode, my nephew, age < 1

Asteroids rocks!

robrohr — Mon, 30 Jul 2001 11:19:00 GMT

What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.

- Dave Barry

No, really, what's your name?

robrohr — Thu, 28 Jun 2001 19:11:00 GMT

I received an e-mail today that instructs one in how to generate one's silly name from one's real name. I was so amused, I wrote a quick Silly Name Generator to automate the process. I often wonder whether I'm too subtle.

robrohr.org : silly

Beep. Boop. Cue Pathos.

And they said a trinary counting system was useless...

You can type real fast with your bottom. Nearly 60 uncommonly large words per minute.

Asteroids rocks!

No, really, what's your name?