"Survey Says..."

robrohr — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 11:24:00 GMT

Back in late 2002, I joined the Presidential Prayer Team. The reasons for doing so are many and varied, but I'm still a member to this day. One of the many joys I get from the weekly newsletter is THIS WEEK'S POLL, where I get to select my personal take on nuanced issues of the day from a limited list of carefully crafted answers. Have you ever taken a multiple choice test where none of the answers were even remotely right? When no grades are at stake, it can be rather amusing.

Today (July 27, 2006) I received my weekly newsletter from the Presidential Prayer Team. Oh, bliss! I skipped past such gems as:

Additional Leaders to Pray for This Week
(Sec. Defense, Donald Rumsfeld; Joint Chiefs Chair, Gen. Peter Pace; Attorney General, Alberto Gonzales; and Sec. Commerce, Carlos Gutierrez)
Presidential Quote for the Week
(Intro: "The faith background of President Taft is difficult to determine at best. At times, he declared himself a Unitarian...")
Can Prayer Help Reduce Crime?
("...inviting the faith community to join them for prayer every evening at 7:30 P.M. under a large tent being set up on the National Mall. Supporters will be taking the extraordinary step of praying and believing that God will reduce crime in our nation's capitol over the next six months.")
Godly Words of Inspiration in Two Army Hymns
(lyrics to Old Hundred and God of Our Fathers)

What I really wanted was the survey of the week. I was not at all disappointed by today's offering.

It is indeed rare for a question to be posed so clearly, without leaving gaps between answers where those addicted to nuance can often fall. A typical question would be:

PREVIOUS WEEKLY POLL (April 28, 2005)
How will you be participating in this year's National Day of Prayer?
At home, privately. (38.2%)
With my church, small group or Bible Study. (18.9%)
I won't be participating. (15.6%)
At a gathering in my community. (14.5%)
At work. (12.9%)

Note: At no point did they mention "Running nekkid through the streets, ululating an ode to Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds*, calling down a rain of fire onto this sinful world, wiping this planet clean of all iniquity." If this is your plan, which option do you choose?

Anyway, this week's question was a juicy one. How would my fellow prayer-monkeys vote? (Side note: prayer-monkeys do not like to be called prayer-monkeys, unless they are me.)

The Results!

Well, well, well! It would appear that my fellow prayer-monkeys are having visions of impending armageddon. I suspect this is quite a dangerous thing to do while driving, shaving or visiting the numerous agricultural fairs.

"Mommy can I have a popsicle?"

"Apocalypse? Soon, dear. Soon."

Skeptic that I am, I am convinced that the passage of time is an indication of the nearing of the apocalypse, and, should we be lucky, it will be the expansion of the sun into a red giant that ultimately wipes all life of this surly planet. Looking at these results, I won't be scratching my head so much in the future as I look at survey results from other weekly polls.

These folks have the ear of the President and this Administration. These folks are running the FDA, NSF. These folks are representing us at global talks on poverty and setting policy on our behalf about aid to organizations that provide women's health care.

Let us pray...

Update: The results posted were early results with just under a thousand responses. At this point (~1500 responses,) armageddoners are up over 70% and rising. It appears that fundies like to sleep in a bit, or perhaps they like to pray a bit before hopping onto the internets for a little clickety-click, or maybe they are just slow readers.

* I am fairly confident that Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds is a cat.

What kind of sheep are you?

robrohr — Sat, 05 Feb 2005 20:02:00 GMT

Margot directed me to this site where I was able to find out what kind of sheep I am. No surprise there.

Which flock do you follow?
this quiz was made by alanna

Margot is a Gryffindor, so what am I?

robrohr — Fri, 03 Dec 2004 18:14:00 GMT

I'm a Gryffindor!

I secretly think that everybody is a Gryffindor. Including Pee-Wee Herman, George Bush, Stockard Channing, Elmo and Deputy Dawg.

I was kind of hoping to be Hufflepuff.

The possible houses, via URL hacking are...

Keep an eye out for snarky hover comments on these images. My brain is too mushy to be clever.

My mother will certainly be surprised.

robrohr — Mon, 01 Nov 2004 13:08:00 GMT

According to this quiz, I am...
Jolly good, wot! Anyone for tennis? That'll be ten ponies, guv. You're the epitome of everything that is english. Yey :) Hoist that Union Jack!

How British are you?
this quiz was made by alanna

Never been there, but I hear the view is nice.

Thanks, Margot, for pointing this site out to me!

I always knew it was true...

robrohr — Fri, 04 Jun 2004 13:25:00 GMT

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?

Editor's note: This is not a call for the world to go through my previous postings and point out regrettable grammar choices.
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robrohr.org : survey

"Survey Says..."

What kind of sheep are you?

Margot is a Gryffindor, so what am I?

My mother will certainly be surprised.

I always knew it was true...