robrohr.org : toys

Wear your addiction on your sleeve...

robrohr — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 03:02:45 GMT

In a previous post, I mentioned a shirt with a built in graphic sonic frequency analyzer. I was morose because it wasn't machine washable. Too much work was necessary in keeping that garment in a presentable and working state.

Now I am tormented by a new offering in animated clothing: the Animated Retro Table Tennis Shirt from thinkgeek.com.

Long time readers (hi, Mom) know I have a more than passing fascination with the classic videogame PONG. The thought of anybody taking bleeding edge technology and accomplishing something completely retro with it just makes me giddy. Viz: electric violins. Here, our garment manufacturers have managed to combine the timeless classic of a t-shirt (the raiments of Valhalla and Olympia) and combined it with solid state electronics and a laminar display that shows a trivial, yet oddly compelling animation of a game of PONG.

Even better, this shirt is machine washable.* Progress! But still too much work for a t-shirt, no matter how cool and PONG-oriented.

* Ribbon cable must be disconnected from the concealed battery pack. The battery pack should be removed from its pocket, and the animated decal must be removed from the shirt (held in place via velcro) before laundering. Do not operate motor vehicles or heavy machinery while gazing at this shirt. Pregnant women or people with heart or liver conditions should check with their doctor before being seen in public with a person wearing this shirt. Babies who have parents who think this shirt is "just ducky" should lobby their congressperson to legalize late term adoption for children of terminally embarrasing parents.

For a video of the shirt in action, check out the embedded video on the product page (scroll down).

Note to family members looking for easy gift ideas for a boy: I don't want a shirt like this until the electronics and screen can be embedded into the material, can be laundered, and can be powered by the glow from my computer screen, or my motion, or my B.O. or something. Most anything else at thinkgeek.com would work for gift ideas for either Margot or me.

Have you seen the USB Rocket Launcher? It has twice the range of the USB Missile Launcher...

Channel9 Guy to the rescue

robrohr — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 13:23:00 GMT

The Channel9 Guy squish toy that I got for sending a postcard to the folks at Channel9 has turned out to be one of the bravest squish toys in my collection. Recently, after being fed up with Imperial policies, the Channel9 Guy was involved in a standoff, Tianamen style, with an Imperial AT-AT. Apparently, beneath the squishy exterior lies a core of steel, or at least a significantly less squishy center.

You can get your own 9 Guy by sending a postcard to:

Robert Scoble
c/o Microsoft Corporation
One Microsoft Way
Redmond, WA 98052

See pictures of the global travels of the 9 Guy at Channel9, along with interviews of the folks working on the guts of various Microsoft products.

If the marketing folks really want my contact info...

robrohr — Sat, 12 Mar 2005 02:30:00 GMT

iPod, schmi-Pod. For the past year or so, I had been coveting this $300 slab of lego brand goodness [click image to see full size]. The embodiment of galactic evil combined with merchandising, machined to Scandanavian precision, and guaranteed to maintain that precise gray for generations.

This particular model is several feet long, and I had visions of that behemoth suspended from the ceiling of my office with all weaponry trained on the unsuspecting individual who traipses into my office requiring technical assistance.

"You want help? First you must swear fealty to the emperor. And give me that iPod."

I thought nothing could top this gratuitous expression of pure evil, and cement my lofty position at the top of the toy heirarchy in the building, or perhaps even out to the parsec boundaries.

Last week I was reminded that, even with Legos, one can become embroiled in an arms race. You think you have the most devastating Weapons of Mass Destruction around, and, kerfaffle! You might as well have a pea-shooter. And a can of soggy peas. Not one of those bulgie cans full of botulism for starting a biological weapons program or a botox clinic.

If you look in the upper right corner of the Death Star, the little gray smudge is one of the Star Destroyers from above. Imagine a Death Star under Construction (slated for release in Sept. 2005) hanging in the corner of my office above my CD collection. That Beatles White Album will get returned to me right snappy, don't you know.

If the folks behind freeipod.com were to start up another spinoff called freedeathstar.com, I'd be first in line to sell all my family's personal information to the marketers, canvassing the hallways looking for unsophisticated consumers to trap in my Lego fuelled ponzi frenzy.

With kit like this, one doesn't need to grovel for free iPods or Mac minis. One holds planetary systems hostage. I'm not about to spend $300 on this puppy any time soon, although I'm not above putting it on my wishlist at amazon.